Major Victory for Prop 8 Protestors

by Greg Gutfeld, Fox News

Today, I salute gays for a major civil rights victory: They forced some old lady to quit her job.

After Proposition 8 passed, angry gays discovered that Margie Christoffersen — who fills pitchers at El Coyote restaurant in Los Angeles — had given cash to the cause, which restricted the definition of marriage to include only straights. So they picketed her place of business with hilarious protest signs until the evil lady finally resigned.

Now, some might say this is nothing like Rosa Parks on the bus. But they're wrong. I mean, it takes guts to ruin some old lady's life just because she supports a bill based on her silly religious beliefs!

Seriously, if I was there, I would have thrown paint on her — a soft lilac shade, of course.

But why stop there? Now that you banished the old broad, get your a-- down to those other parts of town where you don't brunch and give those blacks and Mexicans a piece of your mind. And, when you're done, why not the Muslims — who are not only against you marrying, but living too!

Look, I'm all for gay marriage, but just because some folks aren't as ["enlightened"] as you are, doesn't mean you can treat them like poop. No one is going to take you seriously until you protest more seriously. Blacks sat in restaurants where they weren't welcome and women protested outside the White House for days on end.

But instead of picketing a Cineplex playing a Tyler Perry movie, gays hit a joint in West Hollywood a few blocks from a busy gay bar.

And to that I say: Comer con gusto!

An Ugly Attack on Mormons

By Jonah Goldberg
December 2, 2008
As printed in the LA Times

Did you catch the political ad in which two Jews ring the doorbell of a nice, working-class family? They barge in and rifle through the wife's purse and then the man's wallet for any cash. Cackling, they smash the daughter's piggy bank and pinch every penny. "We need it for the Wall Street bailout!" they exclaim.

No? Maybe you saw the one with the two swarthy Muslims who knock on the door of a nice Jewish family and then blow themselves up?

No? Well, then surely you saw the TV ad in which two smarmy Mormon missionaries knock on the door of an attractive lesbian couple. "Hi, we're from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!" says the blond one with a toothy smile. "We're here to take away your rights." The Mormon zealots yank the couple's wedding rings from their fingers and then tear up their marriage license.

As the thugs leave, one says to the other, "That was too easy." His smirking comrade replies, "Yeah, what should we ban next?" The voice-over implores viewers: "Say no to a church taking over your government."

Obviously, the first two ads are fictional because no one would dare run such anti-Semitic or anti-Muslim attacks.

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